Jesus is our provider, our peace and our security.

Today my wife posted this on Facebook, and it made my heart glad. Read the comments below and you’ll see how people responded. My comments are at the end.

Dawn Spoelstra: Amazed how God provides for our family.

LikeUnlike · · 2 hours ago ·

      Jim Wheatley, Donna-Marie Rothnie, Gail Pickens Hayden and 8 others like this.

            Debra McDonald Blake Tell me, did something wonderful happen?

            about an hour ago · LikeUnlike

            Jocelyn Goranson Amen

            about an hour ago · LikeUnlike

          Donna-Marie Rothnie Honestly, I am too. You guys always seem to have all you need or want even when finances are short. It's cool.

            about an hour ago · LikeUnlike

            Dawn Spoelstra Well, we got support from someone for this year and next year, which will help us get a paycheck for the rest of this year, at least. Leif was short on pants in his size, and I went up to the attic for something else and spotted a bag of clothes from Andrea Fowler FULL of pants that fit Leif. We figured out about Peachcare for Kids (thank you, Rebecca Capistrant, and the state of GA) and have gotten free prescriptions and doctors visits for both of our kids...I know there is more, but this is all in the last few days!

            6 minutes ago · Like Unlike · 2

            Charles Spoelstra: I'm even more amazed than Dawn is, because I spend more time wondering how He's going to do it! I'm also incredibly grateful to everyone who responds to His prompting in support and love for us. You know who you are!

To add to my last comment, since I admit that I do spend a little time worrying, I think the most powerful provision that Jesus gives to me is emotional. When I first began in ministry, if you had asked me if I thought we would be able to do it, live off of support, and then add two kids to the mix, I would have said “no way, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Some days, if you catch me in a bad moment, I might even say that now. O Ye of little faith. That’s me, but I guess Jesus gives me just enough of His faith to move the mountain of my doubt, and the fig tree of financial burdens out of the way. Of course, we don't do it, Jesus does. 

 Beyond even that, He provides the peace and comfort I need in my soul to keep me living on support. His presence with me in my soul feels like life support in God's ICU more than anything. On any given day, I could have a panic attack if I think about how the money in our account is always just about to run out. During any given night, I could wake up in a cold sweat and lay awake for the rest of the night wondering how we are going to survive, and condemning myself for not doing enough to raise more support. What does enough look like? I don’t know, but I always know that it’s more than I’m currently doing. These emotional catastrophes are (mostly) held at bay by one simple thing: Jesus is my peace. He has taught us (Dawn and I) to rest in Him, and in that place, no amount of worry can have power. 

I’m not writing this to plead for more support from anyone who is reading, because that is not my path to peace. Instead, my path to peace is to enter into relationship with Jesus moment by moment, and trust Him not only to provide financially, but emotionally as well. Because I trust Him to work through my faithfulness in asking, I will gladly provide you with an opportunity to join in what HE is doing to support us.

Does it work? Well we’re still here, and we’re enjoying our lives with Him, and we’re richly blessed by the Life that He keeps pouring through us to give to other people. And again, He keeps pouring through other people who love us, to provide everything we need: love, friendship, clothing for the kids, finances, childcare you name it, He provides. I think this is just how Grace is supposed to work, and it feels so good.

Look what we found under our tree.

Union

 

who now knows by what divine art

the sacred star hovered over

the crèche that night

or what scare the virgin felt

entombed within it’s lonely light

her womb bursting with God’s life

coming to renew the race?

Scarred by men’s scorn, waiting on

our heart’s desire to be born

a heart-full of holy warmth

burns bright holes

in the side of mercy’s Lord,

drives the harrow deep in pity’s paths.

O Come lowliest of lonely ones

Dress the vine, burn the branches

bear the fruit, and bless the staunchest

observer of a stubborn law

with a flash of death in life:

prefiguring of life through death.

Vie for a riven world

to call each one your own.

Hear the whisper of the inner ear

and heed the tears of every heart tonight.

Humbled; bled; bonded and adored.

Only You can wipe the hearthstone clean

of disconsolate ash

breathe into the dust new life

kindle the clinkers

and tear the seams of eternity

to let the bright new angel in.

Noel

lonely one

only yelling lies

against the dark

laying without hope.

rest gentle soul

sing noel

and be merry again

God has come home

to be with you,

Emmanuel.

Embrace your merriment.

He roosts and crows

on the roof of your heart.

Angel cries of joy surround Him

with lights and gentle sighs

from another age.

       Stars,

arcing across the void,

descend from their sacred cars

into her waiting arms.

Rest, your Lover is here.

Reign with your finger
on the fringe of a finer grief.
Feel the ire of a furnace
the stillness of the fir tree.
Ring fen and fern with fire.
Hinge your farms
with fealty and with gin,
and grin at all the burning.

Fitness Journal December 9-14.

I want to keep a record of my journey with physical health, but I've been lax about it (writing not exercising) for the past few days. So here goes a quick update.

Friday Dec 9: Nothing, Nada, Rest Day.

Saturday Dec. 10: 20miles on the road around East Cobb: Sandy Plains area to Mar Lanta, to Loch Highland (pretty lake), Wesley Chapel, to Highbourn Dr. (including Sweat Mountain) and so on. Then 22 miles on the rollers in the house while watching Bones on Hulu. (it got really cold outside). Average Speed: outside, slow (16ish). Inside, Fast (22+ (no wind or hills)). I felt really great after all this riding, really enjoying the endorphin high for the rest of the weekend.

Sunday Dec 11: I did a wonderful mountain bike ride at Rope Mill Park, a new trail opened up in Woodstock Georgia, quite near to Blankets Creek where I've been riding for years.  It was a very cold day, so I was quite bundled up at first but slowly removed layers as the ride went on because you always have to. The trails were fast and rolling, a little tacky in places with mud, but overall it was just a terrific adrenaline rush: tight switchbacks through dense trees, short steep climbs and roller coaster descents. I only fell once on a patch of slippery pine straw, but it wasn't too bad, I got right up and kept riding. If you ever get a chance, get out there and try it, and let me know cause I'd like to meet you there. (Average Speed: 11mph (woo hoo that's fast on a MTB!), HR 143, Time 1hr. Distance 11miles.)

Monday morning Dec 12: 60 push ups, 36 pull ups, 60 sit ups, 30 burpees. I try to do this workout every Mon. Wed. Fri. morning to have some kind of fitness in my upper body and core.

Tuesday Dec. 13: at the YMCA. I ran for about 25 minutes, 3miles, 4x100 yard sprints on the soccer field. Then went inside and rode the Expresso Bike for 15miles. First lap on a trail called Oddysey was 22:19 (2nd place on the leader boards!), average speed 20mph. The second lap was considerably slower, but it was still raining sweat! A great hard workout. The Expresso bike is a computer simulation riding game where you can enjoy scenery, hills and turns, and even compete with other riders via the internet. It tracks every detail of your ride including Wattage, heart-rate, speed and cadence. Odyssey is a pretty humorous setting from Greek Mythology, complete with cyclops, giant minotaurs strolling by and pegasus flying all over the place. At one point you ride past a virtual coastline where the kraken is fighting a giant cyclops. Really funny and distracting!

Wednesday Dec. 14: Same round of basic calisthenics. Dawn and I did this Bodyrock.tv workout tonight as well. We did the workout that required no equipment, because we don't have a sandbag or anything, the bonus abs workout. 7 minutes total. short but intense.

My numbers were:
push up 2x with squat jump to bench 7
star jumps 23
surfer kick out push up 9
cross leg push ups 17
bicycle crunches 23
bench tucks 37
sit up and dumbell press 12

My Heart in the Presence

                   sometimes                  a fountain,

a flume jetting into the loud air,

struck through with scintillating light

and sometimes                              still water,

a silent spring welling up from deeps below

barely disturbing the surface of the dark pool

and sometimes                              a star.