Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Thrive Training Year One Overview.

Thrive Training Track I : Our year in review. 

Our track one training has been so satisfying. Learning to notice our children's attachment lights (bonding center in their brain) was a great experience early on for Dawn and I. We can feel them growing more secure with us as we pay attention to their needs for both attachment and space. Another highlight has been the exercises on noticing overwhelm in others. I grew up in a family that was constantly overwhelming each other and so my habits were very bad in this area. It is taking me a lot of practice but I am learning to see very clearly and instinctively when I am overwhelming someone else. Getting myself to take a pause is such a satisfying way of building trust with them.

 As my wife and I have learned to build joy with each other and included the children in our practice, we have all become so much more connected and playful in our times together. We find ourselves singing our prayer of Thanksgiving before dinner and sharing joy with our eyes as we do so. What a blessing.

 Learning to tell return to Joy stories has been very very helpful as well, though I am still in the middle of that process and have a lot of practice needed. It does feel so good to have a pathway back to joy and a story to tell within my mind and too the person in front of me. Learning to turn to Jesus to see what it is like me to do in each emotion has been amazing and transformative. I find myself calm in the midst of situations where normally I would've completely lost it in the past. I'm I find myself simply aware of what is going on instead of lost in a panic.

 Going through a childhood inventory and getting a sense of the presence of Jesus in each trauma has also been very fruitful. I’ve seen healing in some areas from getting together to pray with my wife and sensing the presence of Jesus in those memories. Still more healing needed though, so I’m hopeful in the process.

 I would say that the most challenging part has been looking at maturity work. Seeing the gaps in my maturity, and taking the steps to do the tasks and needs has been a slow process. I'm so grateful that I have two groups of elders in my life who are available to me to help me learn in the areas where I am lacking. Learning to synchronize with a group is challenging to me, but I'm getting lots of feedback about how to notice what others are feeling and needing in the group setting.

Saturday, January 7, 2017


April 23, 2013

Me to Jesus: I deeply desire to teach what you have been showing me in counseling and my personal journey and practice.  

 Jesus to me: Life in my spirit is poetry and music and story and song! I am your creator. Moment by moment I pour my heart out into our life together, and that means love. My love includes brilliant ideas, beautiful images, stunning landscapes, inspiring words, breathing characters, soothing tones and vibrant colors. My compassion inspires the gentlest observations and the most sensitive listening. My patience is incredibly perceptive and meticulous with the most minute details of your life. My peace, our peace, captures the stillness and solitude of total joy and contentment in our unique passion to simply be together. My glory manifests in you as much in labor as at rest, and shines brightest when you simply experience and exhibit my love. Oh small ship on the sea of my love, feel the buoyancy and rejoice!

Rumi : Buoyancy.

Love has taken away my practices
and filled me with poetry.

I tried to keep quietly repeating
No strength but yours, but I couldn’t.

I had to clap and sing.
I used to be respectable, chaste and stable,
but who can stand in this strong wind
and remember those things?

A mountain keeps an echo deep inside itself.
That is how I hold your voice.

I am scrap wood thrown in your fire,
quickly reduced to smoke and ash.

I saw you and became that empty.
This emptiness, more beautiful than existence,
it obliterates existence, and yet when it comes,
existence thrives and creates more existence.

The sky is blue.
The world is a blind man sitting beside the road.

But whoever sees your emptiness
sees beyond the blue and the blind man.

A great soul hides like Muhammad or Jesus
moving through a crowd in a city where no one knows him.

To praise is to praise
how one surrenders to the emptiness.

To praise the sun is to praise your own eyes.
Praise, the ocean. What we say, a little ship.

So the journey goes on,
and no one knows where.

Just to be held by the ocean
is the best luck we could have.
It is a total waking up.

Why should we grieve that we have been sleeping?
It does not matter how long we have been unconscious.

We are groggy, but let the guilt go.
Feel the motions of tenderness around you.
the buoyancy.